The Kite Walker*

*WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS*

Sorry about the lack of posts lately.

Me: Hi, my name is Carlos and it has been five days since my last post.
Voices in my head: Hi, Carlos.

I figured I should apologize to the ones and fives of people that read my blog. I appreciate your loyalty and hope you won't take your business elsewhere. Part of the reason why I have not written much lately, and why I started this blog with such a long rambling intro about apologizing for not writing, is that not much has happened lately.

Something did happen out of the ordinary on Saturday, though, and it is what this entry is named after. 'Twas a lazy Saturday afternoon...

The weather has finally gotten nice enough to go outside and not freeze to death. Also, it's been winding so I had the great idea to accept the invitation from a friend to go kite flying. I was going to take credit for having the idea, but I am not much of an outdoors person or even out-of-bed person, so anyone who knows anything about me would not believe me anyway. My friend and I, of course, planned a picnic and everything. We even had the foresight to stop by Subway to buy food and family dollar to buy a tablecloth to spread on the ground. Nothing says "good old-fashioned picnic" like a pre-prepared sub and a vinyl tablecloth from the dollar store. To anyone who cares to disagree I will just say "lunch was delicious". Although, in all honesty, it wasn't. For some reason, subs made with day old bread that keeps crumbling away are not that tasty. Still, the company was good and we had a good laughs. I would share what we laughed about, but I don't remember. It was five days ago! You can't honestly expect me to remember what we talked about. Okay, fine. I do remember what we talked about but, unless you want to hear off-color jokes about men with breastfeeding fetishes, you are better off believing I don't remember what the conversation was about.

So, there we were, sitting on a blanket near a small body of water surrounded by families, laughing about something completely appropriate for that place and time. Especially if you consider the fact that, not far away, there was a church group conducting an Easter egg hunt. Then again, what kind of church conducts an egg hunt on Saturday anyway. They have bigger problems than us telling a few lewd jokes if they can't figure out what day some over-sized rabbit is supposed to hide eggs everywhere for them to find in celebration of their lord being resurrected. Besides, it is not like we were using a bullhorn. It was a completely appropriate private conversation that I just spent a couple of sentences defending. See what I meant when I said I did not have much to talk about?

Well, after enjoying our "delicious" lunch, we set out to see if we could fly a kite. The last time I tried flying a kite, before Saturday, was so long ago that I cannot even remember it. Then I kept hearing phrases like "you have to run" and "run faster" that kept making me uneasy. Especially after reading "The Kite Runner" and I learned what kind of tragedies happen when kids run after kites. You will be happy to know that no kids were traumatized, not to say raped (because who would want to bring up such a heavy and controversial subject in their blog?), in my kite adventure. If you haven't read the book, or seen the movie, you don't get that reference but trust me it is dead on and kinda funny if you find morbid, disgustingly sad things funny. Another reason why the word "run" made me uneasy is because if I can't remember the last time I flew a kite, because it is such an unusual activity, I also cannot remember the last time I ran. Running sucks! Thankfully, I did not have to run since there was a strong wind blowing. Maybe it was because of the strong wind that kite flying did not seem a complicated thing to do. At least not for me or my friend. Her friend that accompanied us, and who I had not mentioned till this moment because my storytelling sucks and because I forgot to credit her as being the other half of the duo that came up with the kite flying idea, had really bad luck. Her kite sucked but, even when she borrowed my kite, she was not a very good kite flyer. She managed to rip my kite and kites do not really fly that well once torn. Needless to say, the joy of kite flying was short lived, though I did get some sun exposure. There is a silver lining to everything and the one to this story is that I now have a bigger chance at getting skin cancer. The good news for you, oh patient readers, is that the story is now over.

Again, there is not much reason for me to have a blog except to submit my acquaintances to pointless stories that amuse no one but myself. Still, I try to make the stories bearable. After all, I did not mention that my kite had a picture of a smiling sun in it and that my friend's kite was a Spongebob. Neither did I mention that the bad-kite-flyer girl's kite was Batman and we kept making, especially her, really bad, as in not funny, jokes about her kite not flying because Batman does not fly. See? I do care about you and try to avoid rambling more than necessary. That is why I know you guys can hardly wait till the next installment. I shall try not to keep you waiting for long.