Reason Number 80 Why I Am Going to Hell

While writing reason number 79, I remembered another reason why I am going to hell and thus decided to write it. Why was I reminded of this other occasion? Simple, I was reminded of it because it involves Heidi, my co-worker, and a friend of hers dying. Yes, I know it is not right to make fun of people when they die, but it is so much fun. So, this is the story behind reason number eighty:

A few weeks back, I was at work bored so I decided to go talk to some of the people in the offices in the back.  I stopped by Heidi's office to ask how she was doing and she told me that she was just informed that one of her old friends in Oklahoma had died that weekend. My first instinct, due to the fact that she did not know me that well back then, was to be sympathetic. I asked how long had she known him and she informed me that he had been a friend from high school and from her teenage years. I asked her what had happened. Apparently, he worked night shifts in a different town in OK and had a thirty minute commute every morning. Well, on Monday morning, as he was driving back home, he was hit by an eighteen-wheeler and had died due to the injuries maintained in the accident. She said that they were going to have his funeral that Friday and that she would be driving to OK Friday morning. I once again said I was sorry that her friend had died and left her office.

Friday morning came around and I noticed her car wasn't there that morning and I remembered she was gone in order to attend the funeral. I thought about something nice to send her in a text message in order to offer my support and the best I could come up with was "Have a safe drive. Hope you make it to Oklahoma safe... unlike your friend." I thought that was hilarious and thus became the 80th reason why I am going to hell. I felt it wished her a safe trip, let her know I was thinking of her, and used humor to lighten an otherwise emotionally tough situation. Apparently, no one else saw the positive in all of this. I thought I had a really funny and great way to comfort my friend, but apparently I was just being disrespectful to the dead.

I did not hear back from Heidi that day, and for a moment I thought she was mad at me. I sent her a text apologizing for my most awesome text. She did respond to that one and said that I did not need to apologize. That she had not responded because she had been busy the day before but that she was not mad or upset.  She went on to mention that she had received the text during the service at the church and the it was all she could do to keep from laughing out loud. Apparently, I am not the only person in the world with an inappropriate sense of humor. It is always good to know that although I may end up in hell, at least I will be accompanied by people with a good sense of humor.

Yet Another Try at Randomness...

I know it has been too long since I posted something that was not pre-written. It's not your, the reader's, fault. It's the writer's fault. This blogger has been having a hard time being motivated to do anything and writing and updating the blog is included. Not that I don't appreciate that you read whatever inane ramblings I happen to come up with, for I am really thankful that I have any readers at all, but my lack of motivation has nothing to do with you. What I am trying to say is that it is not you, it's me. I mean, you guys are great. I am obviously the one that needs to work on some issues so that our relationship can work. I know that you can find some other better blog that will know how to entertain you and give you all you need. That being said, and after assuming all fault for our failing relationship, I would like to state that I would love the opportunity to make things up. I can change.   I promise to be more attentive and more demonstrative of how much you mean to me. I shall try to write at least once a week and to make the entries interesting. In other words, and to quote P!nk, "Please don't leave me. I forgot to say aloud how beautiful you really are to me. I can't live without you." The cards are on the table and the decision is yours. Find a better blog that entertains you in ways that I can't ever live up to or bear with me and see where this crazy road will lead us.

If the opening paragraph to today's post was not creepy enough, bear with me, I can be creepier. Way creepier. Now, onto the randomness:

• As many of you may, or may not, know, I used to work at Mardel, a christian bookstore. This was back near the end of my religious days and I loved working there because we were closed on Sundays and closed early on Wednesdays so that people could attend church. A few Wednesdays back, I was in that shopping center and saw a lady walking towards the doors at Mardel. The store was obviously closed. There were no lights on and no cars in the parking lot. Yet, the lady proceeded to walk to the doors and tried to open them. When they did not open, she walked over to the other set of doors and tried to open those. It made me glad I don't work there anymore as working with people that are that dumb is never fun.
• A few weeks back, I was house sitting for a friend of mine and I loved the idea of being away from home for a week. I was happy not to have to deal with my family for a week. Ironically, every day after work, I would come home and take a nap before going over to the house I was sitting because I slept better at my own bed.
• Along with house sitting, I also had to take care of her dogs. One of the dogs is a giant poodle. He's big, he's black and he's named Shakyll. He is the gentlest dog.
• Although he is gentle, my animal paranoia extends to the point that when the dog would sit next to me I would have to pet him just because he was sitting at eye level and, in my mind, if I didn't pet him, he would rip my throat out.
• That might have been why I never slept well while house sitting as apparently I was in constant fear for my life.
• At my old job, I used to have one of those reduced-effort staplers. I have always regretted not stealing it from my other job, which apparently is not a thought that you should share with your current employer as they don't look at supply stealing kindly. I finally bought myself one and I was so proud. I told everyone at work and had them try it. It might be sad but it was the highlight of my week.
• Another one of the many things that make me weird is that I have an allergy which causes my eye to hurt when the temperature drops. That is why I usually carry some Claritin pills. The other day, my eye started to hurt so I took my Claritin. Unfortunately, that did not work so a co-worker offered me some Ibuprofen. I am just going to say that people that are against self-medicating have never had Claritin and Ibuprofen at the same time because I had a fairly good time for the rest of the work day. No, not a fairly good time, a really good time. Yes, a REALLY good time.
• I have been reading the book "Letters From the Earth" by Mark Twain and he made a really compelling point. He said that people always look at god sending his son to die for mankind as a great example of love, but isn't it just a bigger example of bad parenting? I mean what kind of parent would kill their son for a mistake someone else committed?
• Since my last random post sucked, I have a list on my phone of topics I have been compiling so that I can write a better random post. Unfortunately, most of the items on the list consist of just a few words and, since the list is kind of old, I just came across an item which I have no idea where it is from or why I wrote it down. It reads, "Dr. Hasachubby." That's it. It sounds like a porn name and I bet there is an interesting story behind it, but I cannot remember where I got it from even if my life depended on it. So, there you have it, do with it what you will.
• Also, if you can figure out where it's from and you can tell me, I will be eternally grateful.
• The softball season has ended. The Sons of Pitches ended the season with a perfect record or zero wins. I have never been more proud in my life. I do miss having something to do on Sundays and hanging out by the pool, literally as I don't swim, with the teammates afterwards.
• I was at the store the other day, Target to be more exact, and I realize that I hate that they don't have the self-checkout lines. If I want some human contact, I will go to a bar, otherwise a machine will do. The one thing I loved about my vegas trip was the fact that the hotel had the room checkout option where you could checkout from the TV in your room. I loved that. I am a true misanthrope, the less I have to deal with people the better.
• Yes, that attitude works for me even though I work at a front desk as a receptionist. All my growing up in church experience is coming in handy when I have to be a hypocrite to all the annoying clients that come in.
• I had some really good ideas for posts to write the other day. Unfortunately, I was half-asleep and I could not remember them the next morning. How come I always have the best ideas when I am half-asleep? I have solved all of the world's problems while in that state and I forgot them the next morning which always sucks.
• I ran out of coke, the drink, the other day. I went to the store to get some more as I can't live without it. I was looking at prices and then I realized that the 24 pack was a better deal than the 12 pack, which was supposed to be on sale. Then it dawned on me. They weren't 24 packs, but 20 packs. 20 packs!!! Who the heck decided that was acceptable? Why did they have to change from 24 to 20? Did it make it better? I was really upset so I left that store and went to another one to find that the travesty was widespread. Needless to say, that ruined my day. I mean, I still bought the coke, I needed it, but I wasn't happy about it.

So, this is the second attempt at a random post. Hope you enjoyed it and that it was worth the wait. Hopefully, you will be hearing from me within a week. 

Reason Number 79 Why I Am Going to Hell

A while back, I had planned to take some of my co-workers to the drag show in Dallas. I find the drag show to be really fun and I believe it is something most people should experience at least once in their lifetime.  Due to the fact that we all have very different schedules I had planned it with a month in advance.  I even made a facebook event and invited the 6 co-workers that were to come. The first hitch we had was that The Co-Worker was not going to be able to come, thus reducing our number to 5. Preggo was also invited but could not attend. Since she is not a co-worker, and does not have a facebook page, she was not counted in the official list anyway. Other than that, everything seemed to be going smoothly, that was until one day before the day we were supposed to go.  This is what leads to reason seventy-nine of why I am going to hell.

We were scheduled to go on a Saturday night. The morning of the Friday before, everyone that was going had confirmed and we had even discussed logistics. Two of the co-workers are really close and had said that if one of them could not go, the other would not go either. That fateful morning, Heidi received a call from her mother. One of her aunts in Houston was very ill and had been given two days to live. She was going to have to drive down to Houston that weekend and was thus going to miss the drag show. Unfortunately, because she was not attending, her friend was not going to go either. When they cancelled, another co-worker said she really did not want to attend and that left me with just one more person who agreed that it would just be better if we re-scheduled.

I was so disappointed. It's just my luck to have one of my friend's aunts die on the weekend when I am planning an outing. Bear with me, it gets worse. I walked over to my desk, picked up my phone and called The Co-Worker and said, "Imma beat me a dead woman." I apologize for the horrible grammar in that sentence but I am quoting verbatim for two reasons. First of all, I wanted the quote to be realistic, and second, because I love how that phrase sounds. There you have it, reason number 79 why I am going to hell. Not only was I unsympathetic towards Heidi's family loss, I was mad at her aunt for interfering with my plans by dying.

Yes, I do recognize how horrible this is. I am pretty sure that hell will have a circle completely dedicated to me and that drag queens will somehow be incorporated into the punishment. I just thought that such a punishment would have to be so creative that it is a shame one can't blog from hell or I could do a follow-up to each of the reasons why I am going to hell with what punishment I was attributed for it. Hmmm, something to think about, perhaps?

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been six days since my last post...

I hadn't said anything sacrilegious in a while so I figured it was about time. It is not a great piece of blasphemy but bear with me as I am rusty and bound to get better.

Moving on to more important things, the Sons of Pitches have not had a game in several weeks. First, a holiday, July 4th, interfered with the game. The week after that, the weather had turned the terrain unplayable and the two games we had that day were cancelled. This leaves the SOPs with an 0-2 record. We have a game on Sunday so let's hope we do well.

For those of you that helped name Dirty Willie, I must say that I am satisfied with the name and the more I live with it, the more I like it. I think it suits her and that she appreciates it. It may not be indicative of a prim and proper lady, but those kind of ladies hardly ever have any fun and DW is all about fun. I have a feeling that if she could speak, her lexicon would be composed of curse and risque words which would reflect her libertine take on life. In short, I like her more with this persona than when she used to be a tabula rasa that even failed to properly portray her gender. I shall keep you posted on the many adventures that D-Dub will undoubtedly have.

About The Unwanted, they are gone! Last Saturday night, as I watched rent and enjoyed a few cherry vodka sours, my mom asked me to come help her find bus tickets for The Unwanted as they were wanting to leave the next morning. I happily obliged and, come Sunday morning, I even drove them to the bus station in Dallas myself. I believe that was actually the most time I spent with them at once, the forty-five minute drive to the Dallas station. It appears that not spending long, extended periods of time with them was a good idea for in that short span of time I was ready to pull over and leave those kids stranded in the middle of the road. Fortunately, I did not and thus The Unwanted are back at their own home, away from me.

I have been meaning to write for a couple of days but I was unable as I was house-sitting and dog-sitting for a friend of mine. Although I had internet access and my laptop with me, I never had any time to write as I was too busy watching movies in her awesome theater room. On top of that, she gave me some money for helping her. I wisely spent part of this money buying a digital camera and the picture you will see later in the post would not be there if it weren't for my friend's generosity. I am now going to review the rest of the post, as it had been pre-written a week before it was posted, and I am gonna try and fix any incongruities. I apologize for any mistakes that may slip through. Now, on to the post.

This actually happened a few months back. It might have actually happened before I started this blog. I know I sent a text message to a lot of my friends and even posted a comment on facebook about it when it first happened. I think it's now time to share it with the world.

I work at a front desk with a clear view of the outside through the clear glass doors.  In fact, thanks to my new camera, the image above is what I see out my front door. I get really bored and usually just sit there looking for things to amuse me. Unfortunately there is not much to see.  I have seen a cock or two lounging around our front lawn. (Of course, I mean roosters. I just thought the wordplay would be a nice touch.)  There has been a mangy, small, dirty dog, prancing around the flowerbeds and resting under the trees. I have seen spiders and other insects making a living out there as well. I have even seen a homeless man open the cigarette butt container and look around the discarded old cigarettes looking for, and sometimes finding, something to smoke. Which reminds me, I have to stop him from doing that next time as he usually throws the useless butts on the ground instead of leaving them in the receptacle where he found them. Again, nothing too unusual. Usually.

On this particular day, I looked up and saw two brothers playing around. Not unusual at all, or so I thought. I wasn't paying much attention until I looked up and saw that one of the kids was walking on our lawn. Well, maybe not the lawn, as it was not the grass part he was walking on, but this kind of really low shrubbery type of plant that is part of our landscaping. I guess I should have looked up the name of said type of plant but that's too much work and I am lazy.  Still, since it is not really grass, people don't usually walk on it. Yet, this boy was walking through it in pursuit of his brother. Not a fast pursuit mind you. He was moving at about walking pace and had his arms outstretched before him. His brother, however, kept moving from place to place calling out to him. I could not understand what their game consisted of until the brother that was moving all around the place came close to the front door and I heard him shout, "Polo." I almost fell out of my chair when the reality of what was happening dawned on me. The kid in the weird landscaping lawn was blind and he and his brother were playing "Marco Polo." I could not stop laughing. I tried calling a few people so that they could come see what was happening but everyone was on the phone. I kept staring at the events unfolding right outside the door and kept seeing the blind boy trying to find his brother. The brother, meanwhile, kept moving around so that the blind kid kept having to walk on all kind of weird surfaces, like the weird lawn thing he was on. He also kept calling his brother from behind a tree to try to make him walk into one. I secretly kind of hoped the blind kid would have walked into a tree because it would have been hilarious. Unfortunately, and I am guessing this is because this was not their first time playing this particular game, the blind kid was too good to fall for it and walk into a tree.

To quote the comment I posted on facebook the day I saw this happen, "You haven't lived until you see a kid playing Marco Polo with his blind sibling on your front yard." This is proof that god, or whoever is in charge, has a sadistic and dark, yet hilarious, sense of humor. Talk about finding a silver lining, you know? I mean, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you blindness, play Marco Polo with your siblings anywhere. It's instant fun. This is proof that happiness is where you find it, as long as you don't mind what people think of you. Besides, laughter is a great thing to share and I can tell you for sure that those two kids made my day that day. Hope you enjoy the story as much as I did. Ciao.

Reason Number 78 Why I Am Going to Hell

As you all know by now, there have been some relatives staying at our house. Less than I originally thought, yet still more than I feel comfortable with and definitely more than I want to have here. You also know that I call them by the affectionate name of "The Unwanted". Well, the damn Unwanted are the cause for reason number 78 why I am going to hell.

As any normal person trying to make a passive aggressive point about not wanting to have any interaction with some people and wishing they had not invaded his house, I have kept to my room most of the time since the Unwanted got here. However, that does not ensure that they will not bother me and get on my nerves as I do have to leave my room on occasion. One such occasion was the other day. I walked out of my room to get some dinner and found the Unwanted sitting at the dinner table. Of course, I have been having all my meals in my room to allow for minimum interaction but while I fixed my dinner the Unwanted Boy started asking me questions. It went as follows:

Unwanted Boy: "Do you wanna play soccer?"

Me: "No."

UB: "Why not?"

Me: "Because I don't like it."

UB: "Why don't you like it?"

Me: "I just don't."

UB: "So, when do you wanna play?"

Me: "I don't wanna play."

UB: "But there is grass outside so it's gonna be nice for us to play."

Me: "I don't wanna play."

(At this point, his sister, Unwanted Girl 2, chimes in)

Unwanted Girl 2: (to UB) "You don't even have a soccer ball."

UB: (to UG2): "Well, we can go buy one." (to me) "When we get a ball, will you play soccer then?"

Me: "I don't like soccer and, regardless of whether you ever get a ball or not, I will never, ever, play soccer with you. Ever!"

So I might have been a bit brusque, but keep in mind that during this grueling grilling, their mom, the Unwanted Aunt, just sat there saying nothing. The next day, I was airing my grievances out to The Co-Worker and she asked me how old Unwanted Boy was. I do not know his age, but my immediate reply was "Too old already, he should have died at birth. Unwanted bastard should have been a stillbirth." Upon uttering those words, I realized that I had stumbled into one more reason why I am going to hell. Not only had I wished that someone had been a stillbirth, but I had wished a relative of mine, and a mere boy at that, had been a stillbirth.

This is great therapy and, probably, the best idea I have ever had for short posts. Hopefully, you guys won't get to hate me. If anything, this should make me more human. Till the next installment of the reasons I am going to hell.

Random Thoughts and Other Things

I woke up this morning not feeling well so I had to call in to work. Yes, that made my weekend a four day weekend, but I did not enjoy not having to work since I was throwing up all morning. I am feeling better now but I felt like I had wasted my day and, in order to do something productive, I decided to write a post. Unfortunately, I really did not have anything to write about so I decided to take a page from Crazy Texas Mommy and do a post with just some random thoughts. I am unsure why she always tries to have her random days be Wednesday, but since I have no discipline and/or follow through on anything, I shall just post them when the mood strikes. So here are my random thoughts of the day:

• It's kind of hard to be random on command. We'll see how this goes.
• I spent several hours yesterday playing super nintendo. It was awesome.
• My thumbs hurt today as a result of yesterday's super nintendo playing.
• I am still planning on playing again later. Quitters never win.
• I am thinking of writing a drunk post one day. I wonder if it will make much sense.
• I just found out a couple of hours ago that I will not get paid for yesterday because I did not work today. It sucks.
• My friend Preggo just found out she is having a girl.
• She hasn't decided on a name for her yet so, until then, I am calling her "The Thing."
• I would ask your assistance finding a name but I doubt she'll want to name her kid Wilhemina.
• I am definitely sure that she would not like her baby daughter to be referred to as "Dirty Willie."
• Or any kind of nickname with the word "Willie" on it.
• Arrested Development is the best show ever!!!
• Days off are just not the same since the Unwanted are here. Even hearing their voices ruins my day.
• I just realized I suck at writing random posts. This may be my first and last.
• Or maybe I will keep at it until I get good.
• I don't have to decide now so I won't.

Well, I guess I did not have that much to say. Sorry for the crappy post. I feel bad even posting it but I already wrote it so I might as well. Hope you all can forgive me. For now, I gotta go because the nintendo is calling my name.

The Unwanted

Well, this post has been a long time coming. For those of you who know me, I have ranted about The Unwanted for a long time now but it is time for me to share this with the rest of the world, or all 9 of you who actually follow this blog. But first, I gotta catch up on some things so give me a minute.

First of all, Happy Fourth of July!!! There, I have used up my patriotic spirit for the year. Come back next year and I may be able to summon one more. I may even be able to add an exclamation mark.

Second, I am giving up on ever getting the clipboard back. It has been too long and I am sure I am not getting it back now.  I should have kept that thief's phone number. Oh well, you live and you learn... and then you stop trusting strangers. A lesson, I feel, I should have learned earlier in life. I guess it is better late than never.

Third, I have come up with a name for my car. Thank you all who commented and provided input as to what the car's name should be, whether you did it online or in person. After much consideration, I am following GunDiva's advice and have decided that my car is a girl. I have also decided to call her Wilhemina. It is an awesome name and everyone that read her comment seemed to agree. However, a friend of mine who reads this blog yet never comments, and thus will be known by the moniker "He Who Reads from the Shadows", gave me the idea of giving it a nickname on top of the name. He provided many suggestions and I finally settle on one. Therefore, my car is a girl who shall henceforth be named Wilhemina and shall be known by the nickname "Dirty Willie". Yes, it's kind of a weird nickname but it is kind of fitting since I hardly ever wash it and because Wilhemina is too long a name to say so it's easier to shorten it to Willie. Also, Dirty Willie just sounds good because it lends itself to many puns and double entendres. You can like it or not, my mind is made up.

Fourth, for those of you who have been wondering about the Sons of Pitches, our softball team, and our progress, I must say we have been doing great, even though we have lost both games we have played so far. It does not matter, we have only lost by one run every single time and we have had a blast playing. Also, sometimes it is better to lose than to go on to extra innings. I am just saying. I am also proud to announce that so far I have only been responsible for three outs. I have been struck out once and, though I have hit the ball twice, I have been tagged at first every time. If nothing else, we have an awesome name. The last team we played kept saying how much they liked the name "Sons of Pitches" during the hand shaking at the end of the game. So, we might have lost the game but our name was cooler so I think that makes us winners. I shall keep you updated on the progress.

Fifth, and last, I hope you guys enjoy the little mini post series of reasons why I am going to hell. As you can tell, my blogs are usually too long so I am glad I have a way now to post something small every now and then. I hope you enjoyed the first installment on the series. I have the next one ready to go but I needed to write today's post before posting the next one or otherwise it would make no sense.

Now, today's topic, The Unwanted...

A couple of weeks ago, on a Tuesday to be exact, I came home from work and took a nap. (Stick with me, the story picks up after a while.) This to mean that I did not talk to my parents until about nine at night when I left my room in search of sustenance. While talking to my mom, she casually states that aunt, one of my dad's sisters, had called to inform us that they, meaning her family composed of her and her husband and their three kids, would be arriving on Friday. Count the days, that is only a three days notice. I groaned and complained and whiningly asked how long they were gonna be here. I was given the good news that their stay was of an undetermined length because they were coming to try and find a job. Remember, this was only a three days notice they gave us. I went into freak-out mode.

I started thinking of all that I had to do and how I did not like kids. The first thing out of my mouth was "Well, I am going to have to start taking my laptop to work."  My dad seemed to be a little upset at this and told me that they were not going to allow the kids in my room when they were here, which I had already assumed was a given. I happened to point out, and my mom backed me up on this, that we had to work during the day and those kids are not the most disciplined kids we know. He seemed to understand a little more and said nothing more on the subject.

I was also informed that I was gonna have to clean my room before they got here. I was flabbergasted at this news. Cleaning my room is usually a full week's undertaking. I am not dirty, per se, but my room does tend to get cluttered. I call it organized chaos. My room may look like a mess, but I know exactly where everything is. Now I had to clean and organize everything in two days, since they were arriving in the third day.  I was just daunted by such an undertaking. Usually I would employ a three day weekend from dawn til dusk to do so and I had to do it in two evenings.

Needless to say I was pissed off. I may or may not have wished they would have a car wreck on their way here so they would not make it. Yes, I know how horrible that sounds and that is one of the reasons I am going to hell that comprise reasons one to seventy-six. They would have had it coming though. It is just plain rude, if you ask me, to give someone such short notice for moving in. They must have known for a while that they were gonna do so. A decision to uproot your family is not made overnight. It's not like we could deny them shelter. They are from El Paso and we have stayed with them plenty of times on our way to Mexico. We have never, however, stayed for more than a few days and we have always given them at least two weeks notice.

As time drew nearer to their arrival, I kept thinking of ways to safeguard my stuff.  I even asked my parents if I could use a padlock. They mentioned that a padlock would not look good on a bedroom door. I guess they did not understand that I meant to use the padlock on the front door. Apparently, you can't lock out your relatives. I don't see why not. Stupid societal rules.

They arrived on Friday evening. Thankfully, I had practice with the Sons of Pitches and was not there when they arrived. When I got home from practice, I said hi, took a shower and left for my best friend's house where I spend the weekend. I came back on Sunday for the first Sons of Pitches games, against a team by the name of "The Shockers", which cracked everyone in our team up. We still think they have no idea what their name means. For those of you reading this that are also in the dark, urbandictionary.com can clear things up for you. After the game, some of the players went to the pool and, despite it being Father's Day and my family having a cook out, I went with them because I did not want to deal with The Unwanted. This is also included in reasons 1-76 of why I am going to hell.

I had been told how I would have to be social and nice. So far, nice for me has been not yelling at the unwanted kids for daring to talk to me. I have stayed in my room for the most part since they have been here. Luckily, my aunt's husband went back to El Paso a few days after arriving. I was not aware of this for a while but it made my day when I found out. Not that I don't like him. Let's just say that if there was a world catastrophe, he would not be very high on my list of people I would make sure survived. I think he would make the list, I just am not certain of it.

As for now, The Unwanted consists of four people:

The Unwanted Aunt is my dad's sister. I have never really liked her much. I remember a Christmas, a long time ago, when she got everyone of my cousins and my siblings really cool toys as gifts and yet I got a notepad and some pencils (not colored pencils, just pencils). I was actually really happy to get a gift so I did not mind. It was not until later that someone, maybe Medea, told me that the reason I got such a crappy gift was because my aunt had forgotten about me completely so when she saw me at the Christmas party she wrapped the first thing she could find. I was not even aware that my gift was crappy but leave it to Medea to burst a young boy's bubble.  I guess I should be upset that Medea told me that, but I was never really close to my aunt so I just have never felt really close to her or cared much for her.

The Unwanted Boy is the Unwanted Aunt's oldest child. I think he is about thirteen but I am not sure because I could ask but I could not care less. He is annoying in that way in which kids who never know when to shut the hell up are. He is the constant questioner with the "but why?" questions. He is a thorn on my side and one of the main reasons why I stay in my room. So far, he has asked to use my iTunes account and annoyed me beyond belief when I said no because he did not understand why I would not. A simple, because I don't want to did not suffice.

The Unwanted Girl 1 is the middle child of the Unwanted Aunt's family.  She is kind of quiet and possibly the one I can deal with the most. Not that I want to deal with but if they were all to die and I was asked, forced, to choose one to live, it would probably be her. I have no clue what her age is either but she is younger than 13. The one thing I have noticed about her is that she giggles a lot and I can't stand her giggling. It is still better than the relentless questioning of Unwanted Boy.

The Unwanted Girl 2 is the youngest of the Unwanted Clan. She is spoiled beyond belief. She is about 8, though I may be off on that. So far, I have heard her whine instead of talking when she wants something and it took everything in me to not reach out and slap her and see if she stopped. What's interesting is that I am not usually a violent person. I also heard her cry once and I couldn't stand that either so I guess I am glad I did not slap her because she would have gone from one annoying sound to another. Oh and because it would be wrong to slap her, regardless of how much she deserved it. I think.

So these are the people I have been having to deal with. Four new and annoying people all crammed into the one extra bedroom we have. They have been hogging everything. They ate all my oreos! (In case you are wondering because of that last statement, I am 26 years old at the time I am writing this.) They have been using my internet because I was asked, forced, by my dad to give them the key for the wireless modem. I have not stopped being spiteful though. Every morning before going to work, I start downloading videos on my laptop, which I decided to leave here to see if they dare face the consequences of touching my stuff, so that it will slow down their internet access. Yes, I know I am evil and a master of passive-aggressiveness thanks to Medea, but as He Who Reads from the Shadows said to me when I was telling him of my woes, "Family are like fish, after three days they start to stink." I may have misquoted but you get the gist of it.

So far, I have survived but keep me in your thoughts because if they push me the wrong way I am not responsible for my actions. That is my defense and, though it may not hold in court, I am sticking to it for now. As usual, I will keep you updated on any new happenings. Write to you guys later!