Monday, May 6, 2013

Back From the Brink of Death With No New Knowledge to Show For It

It won't be apparent to you, dear reader, but it has been exactly two weeks since I wrote my last post. Thankfully, I had planned ahead and the staggering release of posts worked as planned so there will not be a week without a post. Why have I not written in two weeks? Have I done nothing new lately? Was I slacking and losing devotion to this blog again? How did Medea like her present? As the post title indicates, was I on the brink of death? And, most importantly, have I gotten a haircut yet? All of these answers, and more, shall be discussed on today's entry. Stay tuned.

So many things to talk about and yet I have so little space. I have already had people complain that my posts are too long, and by people I mean the BF, but brevity is not, has never been, and will never be my strong suit. Point in case, the previous sentence was unnecessarily lengthy and this sentence, which is doing nothing more than pointing out the obvious by focusing on the length of its predecessor, is not helping cut down my word count at all. In fact, that second sentence may have been longer than the first and thus it is definitely not helping me be more concise. I should end this paragraph right now. I think this paragraph is complete as it is. Yes, I quite like how pointless it is while at the same time making a point of the pointlessness of my writing.

Speaking of my writing, and more explicitly, of my editing, I feel I should apologize. As I said before, I wrote the last post over two weeks ago. Usually, I will write a post and revise, tweak, clean, and edit it a few days letter. Unfortunately, I was not able to do so with the last post and, upon reading it, found many simple mistakes that I cannot forgive myself for. However, I did enjoy reading the post. I know it is gross to be self-congratulatory but I thought it was a funny and entertaining post. Also, I got a comment from Anonymous and that is the first time I have gotten a comment on one of the posts since I started writing again. Getting that comment felt really good so I will overlook the mistakes this time. Especially since the reason I did not get a chance to edit it was because I was... on the brink of death.

Well, not really. I have been sick for about nine days now. I am feeling better so you can save your concern for people that really matter and that really need it. I appreciate if you were trying to be concerned but there is really no need. Thanks, though. After all, I don't think I was that ill.  It was just a cold/flu/allergies/strep throat kind of thing. What was it exactly? I don't know. I know that for the first 5 days I tried to get over it with just over the counter medication. I also know that over the counter medication was not enough. Luckily, right before I made my mind up about going to the doctor, I found some old antibiotics. Now, I am not going to admit online to self-prescribing old antibiotics in order to cure myself because I know better than that as I have been told the evils of self-medication and I am unclear on how legal it is. However, I feel better today than I did last week so praise whichever deity deigned do throw me a solid (that's still an expression, right? Because I am not sure where I picked that up from). Irregardless (I am unsure if "irregardless" is a word or not but I felt like using it) of why I am feeling better, I am just thankful that I am.  However, illness, and not a lack of devotion, did stop me from writing, or even editing, any posts so now I find myself needing to write a few posts in order to buck up my reserves once more in case of some unforeseen obstacle rearing its head in the future.

I had forgotten all about Medea's birthday until I read the stellar post (please allow me to indulge in self-adulation once more) I wrote about it. If I know you at all, which I probably don't as evidenced by the fact that the only person to ever comment since I started writing again was anonymous, you are dying to hear how the whole birthday celebration went down. Well, my sister bought a cake and I bought some wings and we had dinner. I, at one point which may or may not have been while singing Happy Birthday, uttered the words "happy birthday Medea." I am also happy to report that the hug situation was avoided and that my arms have not embraced my mother since December of last year after our fight when she stood there with her arms hanging listlessly at her side while I awkwardly clasped my arms around her bidding her adieu. So, all in all, it was a fairly successful evening. I feel I must point out, whether for the sake of the reader or for my own sanity or for posterity, that no acknowledgement was made of my gift and no thanks were given either verbally, orally or kinesically (by gesture or movement). However, this was expected so I am not too bitter about it. I would say I am just bitter enough.

The last two weeks have not been all bad though. I did go to my first bachelorette party ever. It was nothing to write home about. Fortunately, this is not home so I can write about it here. I feel I should have known it wouldn't be a good experience as I have a low tolerance for drunken women. This was exacerbated by the fact that I was wearing new shoes. Now, don't get me wrong, I love new shoes. I just wasn't expecting to be doing much walking and they are not quite broken-in yet. At the rate the breaking-in process is going, I am starting to think that shoes break-in feet instead of the other way around. I am not saying the night did not have its moments. Dancing was fun and my shoes were not killing me at all at that moment. The maid of honor fell while we were walking on the sidewalk and that provided me with a few minutes of hilarity after which my sadistic shoes reminded me of the painful reality that was walking in them. I also had the chance to have a drink with a leaf on it. Don't believe me. Fine, take a look for yourself.
I believe this drink qualifies as one of the 5 daily fruits and vegetables nutritionists recommend.
Boom, baby. You thought that it was gonna be a small leaf, didn't you? You were wrong. That is a... darn I forgot the name. The point is that is a martini made with cucumber vodka with chili powder on the rim and with, what I learned later was not a lettuce leaf, a big basil leaf in it. I must say that the leaf threw me off at first. That is until I realized that you did not have to eat it and could just drink the martini through the two straws without bothering with the leaf at all and everything was better. I must say that this was probably the highlight of the night. Other than that, driving a bunch of drunk women around, though I do it often enough, is not my idea of fun.

Lastly, because I have managed to answer all the questions I asked at the beginning of this post but this one, I will just say that I have gotten my haircut already. The reception has been lukewarm. The usual people have told me that they like my hair short and the BF told me that he liked my hair better when it was longer. When I accused him of not liking my haircut he stated, begrudgingly methinks, that he liked it but that he preferred it longer (insert "That's what she said!" joke in here). That was when I stopped talking to him for two minutes. I figured that was sufficient punishment for such a slight, and maybe even imaginary, transgression. You may be wondering, I will not assume to know you anymore since I established earlier that I didn't, why I haven't taken a recent picture then. Well, I have been sick and that is hardly the time to take a photograph of oneself. I have good news on that front though. I will be attending a wedding this weekend, yes it's the same bride from the bachelorette party so stop asking, and I hope to take at least one decent photograph so that I can update you on the continuing deterioration of my youth and looks. Thankfully, you don't read this for my looks or I would be screwed.

Mission accomplished. You are all caught up now. Feel free to commend me on how my picture-taking has improved as the picture of that drink up there is way better than the one of my mom's flowers. On top of that, I do believe this is a shorter post than some so maybe I am learning some brevity after all. I guess we'll have to wait and see what the future brings.

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So What if I am not Typical? I'm Still Fun. by Not Typical, Yet Fun is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.